How Do I Let Go of My “Happy Mask”

And Be The Person I Truly Want to Be?

Woman looking in mirror, half-smiling...

“…I’m strong and happy.”
“I’m strong and happy.”
“I can’t be seen to be vulnerable.”
“Many people are relying on me.”
“Work. Family. Partner.”

“Who am I really?”
“…I’m not so sure anymore.”

“What do I really want?”
“…I still need some clarity.”

“When is it my turn?”
“…I’ve almost given up on my dreams.”

“Even after years and years of trying to work it out…”
“Why haven’t I found the ‘answer’ yet?!”
“I keep circling back to the same old feelings, over and over.”
“How do I trust, move on and have inner peace again?”

“…Ahem. Nope.”
“I’m strong and happy.”

No. We don’t always have to put on a ‘strong and happy mask’.

I know many high-performing women and men who have a very successful career and yet somehow, something is still holding them back.

They still feel uncomfortable in their own skin.

Still feel stuck after a negative experience and struggle to move on.

Are still searching for the ‘answer’ by wading through countless self-help materials.

Have you ever had that feeling?

Sarah was in that position. She was very capable at work. Being in a management role, she was known for her reliability and high standards.

She also knew something wasn’t right and her gut feeling was telling her that her relationship was not working.

One part of her was extremely unhappy. Another part felt stuck and trapped, unable to see clearly what was going on.

Tragically, she kept circling back to what was “familiar”, even though it was unsatisfying. This was because she was secretly afraid to move into new, unknown territory in her life.

She had no map, no guidance and no skills other than what she already knew. They clearly weren’t enough…

It wasn’t from lack of trying or intelligence!

She had simply never been taught how to navigate the inner experiences and the outer circumstances she now found herself in.

For Sarah, confusion, self-doubt and an exhausting cycle of inner turmoil had set in.

Can you relate to that feeling?

Going round in circles, self-sabotaging and second guessing yourself?

Maybe with a relationship, a problem at work or some bad experience in the past?

Sarah met Andy about 2 years ago at a mutual friend’s party.

At that time, she was still recovering from the breakup of her 10 year marriage… and had vowed to herself to stay single!

Her ex-husband had left her for another woman, 6 months earlier – and she was left heart-broken. The loss of her dreams and the wounds of rejection still felt fresh and raw. The memory of the parting words still felt like they had happened yesterday.

Yet when Andy and her eyes met from across the room, something clicked into place. A chemistry, a synergy, an attraction, like a key fitting a lock perfectly…

Fast-forward two years and she is wondering why she feels so miserable. The ‘honeymoon period’ of their relationship was definitely over.

They still had compatibility on an intellectual and physical level. On an emotional and spiritual level, they were growing further and further apart.

After the first few months of dizzying attention and dream-building, Andy’s interest in how Sarah felt seemed to disappear…

If they had good sex and cohabited peacefully, then what was the problem?

His judgement of her interest in self-help books was also stifling her expression. Despite asking him to be open-minded, she sensed a disrespect for her views, her likes and her needs.

Have you ever felt you can’t be your real self around certain people?

That you would receive criticism if you were? That you have to filter what you say, or hide things altogether, for fear of judgement or rejection?

We all need to adapt to our environments and behave appropriately at times!

Too much and too often, is not fun. Nor is it freedom, to be yourself.

Eventually, Sarah confided in her close friend, who listened and then suggested she might know someone who could help…

By the time we spoke on the phone, Sarah had already sought help from many sources, for years. Some was professional help and some was via ‘Dr Google’.

While some things helped a bit, she still felt she needed more, something different…

She had no idea what though!

Besides, she was in overwhelm from her confusion and emotionally drained most of the time.

During her free Clarity Session, she described feeling as though she had lost her way. She no longer knew who she really was, nor what even made her happy.

Sarah was good at wearing a ‘happy mask’. Secretly, she felt very alone, disconnected and unsupported.

She had had enough. She was not only ready for change, she was hungry for change…

From what she was saying, I could hear that Sarah had several things going on at once. She definitely needed some new skills and new perspectives – to resolve both her past and her present feelings of confusion and unhappiness.

It was the perfect time and opportunity for her to do some targeted learning.

There is so much we aren’t taught…

Such as how to have functional relationships, how to know ourselves well and how to effectively communicate what is really important to us.

Sarah may have lost her way, but she had not lost her self, even though it felt like it to her, when we first spoke. It was still there inside her, waiting for her to rediscover and reconnect with it. Only then would she have a chance of finding genuine, lasting happiness.

She decided to invest in herself and upgrade her skills by doing the course in the I AM Method®. This meant she could gain the clarity she needed to make those tough decisions and move forwards with complete confidence, which is exactly what she did.

For most of us, it is a process to discover what we truly want.

When we learn the skills we need in order to have crystal-clear clarity about ourselves, then taking action from this deep sense of inner knowing is priceless and literally life-changing.

The I AM Method® is a 10-week process with a proven path and a personal guide gently supporting you through every step of this journey.

It allows us to stand back and learn who we truly are and how to make the right choices that suit us.

Choices we are proud of for the long-term, free from fear and self-doubt.

Decisions made with awareness and from a place of inner security, knowing we are in alignment with every part of ourselves.

Let’s see what clients are saying:

What if you didn’t have to put on a ‘strong and happy mask’ anymore?

What if you can learn how to make the right decisions that you truly feel proud of, for your relationships, family and life direction?

If you feel there’s something holding you back, yet you’re not sure what, I invite you to have a free chat and see what could be the best path for you to move forward.

We can all learn how to make decisions that we feel proud of.

It just requires the first step… and a little bit of trust.

If you’ve been going round and round in circles, perhaps even tried seeking help with self-help materials, yet still feel a little confused with your direction, then this chat is for you.

  1. Bron Watson 3 years ago

    Thanks for a great article and so true.

    • Ingrid Weissmann 3 years ago

      Our pleasure, Bron! Thank you for your feedback!!

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